You are probably asking yourself what do chocolate chip cookies have to do with a Jewish holiday or kabbalah? Everything. Kabbalah is the mystical tradition of Judaism. Mystical tradition's aim is to find the essence of a teaching. And as you chocolate lovers out there know, one of the most elevating experiences in life is to savor a truly wonderful bit of chocolate. It is divine. Jews have as their sacred text the Torah-the five books of Moses: Genesis, Exodus, Numbers, Leviticus and Deuteronomy. IN short, kabbalah is the mystical commentary of the Torah. There are many kabbalistic texts that have been written since the first century. The dense texts focus a great deal on the power of words, even individual letters. Kabbalah means to receive. We are receiving the inner meaning of the Torah. Like the quiet person, on the surface, the Torah is often a confusing text that offers modern readers with more questions than answers. However, when we look at the text with spiritual eyes, the light of the Torah is revealed to us.
So, as you might have guessed, Rosh Hashanah is not like the December 31st holiday of partying. It is a holiday focused on deep reflection, aimed at peeling away the layers-or cookie dough-- that hide our sacred essence. The name, Rosh Hashana itself hints at its inner meaning. This is known as the kabbalistic interpretation. As I alluded to earlier, letters are the building blocks of creation, containing the essence of the divine.
The word Rosh literally means "head," both the physical head as well as "beginning." The first word in the Torah (Bible), b'reishit contains the word "rosh." "B'reishit," commonly known as "in the beginning" actually means "with beginning of." The first letter-beit and the last two letters of the word combine to spell "house" and the remaining letters spell the word Rosh. The house provides a container for our bodies; a head provides a container for our thoughts. Ha Shanah is actually two words: "ha," the article, "the" and shanah, which means "year." "Ha" is an important article, the word of particularization. For example, we don't say white house, we say, "The White House." "The" connotes importance. We are focusing not just any year, but THE year, THIS year. As a verb, shanah means "change." Combined, Rosh Hashanah means an idea for change, a context for change. In addition to this wordplay, we can look at the letters themselves. The letter reish also begins the word "refuah," which means "heal." May our thoughts be directed to healing in the coming year.
Rosh Hashanah is traditionally the anniversary of the birth of Adam-the birthday of the human race. It is a time to begin renewing ourselves spiritually. It is also the moment of the rebirth of the moon. This is the time of year for humans to think of how to turn towards God and each other.
Our relationship with God is a challenging relationship to define. Traditional Judaism would say that our relationship with the ETERNAL requires us to strictly adhere to the Jewish way of life, including observing Jewish holidays, times to pray-even how to dress and eat according to hallachah, or prescribed practice. In a broader context we could say that our relationship with the Eternal is tied to finding time to pray, or cultivating an attitude of gratitude for the many gifts life offers. Do we maintain enthusiasm for the wonder of just living? Abraham Joshua Heschel, a twentieth century hassidic rabbi who was known for his work in the civil rights movement said, "Just to be is a blessing; just to live is holy."
Turning towards the ETERNAL, or return is the Jewish practice of teshuva. Teshuva begins with the Hebrew letter tav. Tav, the last letter of the aleph-beit has a "leg" that kicks out. Once we reach the last letter tav, its leg kicks us back to the beginning of the aleph-beit, to begin again. At this time of the approaching new year, what do we return to? Let's look at where we've been and aim our thoughts to the direction we want to point our internal compass.
Over the year, we have slipped from our resolves, have failed to meet our goals, we have perhaps said hurtful words, lost patience and have become somewhat disenchanted with where we find ourselves. It is human nature to slip from our intentions and so we seek to take time to reflect on where we succeeded and where we missed the mark over the past year; where we need to improve and how we can go about making amends to those we care about, including ourselves. We need to pull back from our routines to give us new perspective, the space to reflect and come up with a new way of relating to ourselves, to our loved ones, to our environment and to God. This list adds up as fast as the laundry pile. Teshuva is in a way like doing laundry. Just when you delight in finally looking down at an empty hamper, you find a lone sock hiding behind the couch and even when you throw that in, you realize that the clothes you are wearing will need to be washed. The work of cleaning the laundry of the soul is also never=ending. Just when we think we have gone over all our errors, we find one more thing we need to consider. The amount of inner work we need to attend to demands taking a time out.
Teshuva also means respond. Responsibility, a related word literally means "the ability to respond." When we have fallen short of our goals, are we capable of responding, or do we try to cover up our mistakes? At this time of renewal, we seek to start the year with a clean slate. There is a wonderful quote that says something to the effect that it is not the falling that is bad, but the failure of getting up to try again when we have fallen that is the problem. There is no word in Hebrew that means sin. The closest word we have is "cheyt," which is an archery term that means missing the mark. Teshuva does not demand perfection; instead, teshuva asks us to remember our essential goodness-our chocolate chip and to act from that place to the best of our ability. This may mean swallowing our pride and asking forgiveness from someone we have hurt. We can focus on the past hurts of the previous year or any other time in our lives that continues to haunt us. The purpose of teshuva is to generate clearer awareness of how we interact with others so that we can avoid making the same mistakes in the future. We can get a sense of our patterns when we look back at past actions. Rosh Hashanah is a time to examine our motives, our needs and look for new, healthier ways to communicate and act.
We also are asked to remember loved ones who are no longer alive. The feelings attached to their memories are still alive inside us. We may regret something we did or did not do with them. Rosh Hashanah gives us the chance to ask for their forgiveness in our hearts. Several years ago I did not call an older relative when I had the opportunity. Not long afterwards, she died and I sorely regretted that I did not keep in touch with her. From then on I have made it a practice to keep in touch with the people I love, to let them know how much I love them and how much they mean to me. My daughter and I have a custom of hugging and kissing each other good-bye every time one of us leaves the house. My parents and I end each phone conversation with a kiss and an "I love you." On Rosh Hashanah, we focus on the fact that we have no way of knowing what moment is going to be our last; that our lives are fragile, requiring gratitude and attention to making each moment as full as possible. The fact that we can remember a misdeed indicates that it is still alive in us and needs repair.
People often associate hurtful acts with people other than ourselves. Teshuva also asks us to look at how we are treating ourselves. Are we eating healthfully; finding satisfaction in our profession; taking time to exercise and enjoying life through hobbies and other leisure activities? Do we treat everyone with respect, or do we have an attitude that some people are unworthy of respect. The Talmud (a commentary on the Bible) says that a truly wise person "learns from everyone."
Rabbi Hillel, a Talmudic rabbi said, "If I am not for myself who will be for me; and if only for myself, what am I; and if not now, when?" I believe this provides the perfect context for this reflective time of year. If I don't make sure my basic needs are met, what will become of me? This line can be read another way. "If I am not for myself" can also mean, if I don't let my voice be heard. One example of letting our voices be heard is the democratic process. Firstly, do I vote? Do I vote for the candidates I believe best represent my values, or do I vote for the candidate my spouse tells me I should vote for? Do my actions truly reflect my values? Do I stop to help a dog who just got hit by a car or do I drive past at the insistence of my indifferent friend who is driving with me? "If only for myself, what am I?" asks, "if I focus exclusively on myself, what kind of person am I?" Such a person is selfish and offers nothing to his or her community. Part of being a member of a community is to give back so others' needs are met. Procrastination is the theme of the final line, "If not now, when?" And if I keep putting off taking action, when will my life change? So often we tell ourselves that once we lose twenty pounds we'll find a lover; we'll quit smoking cigarettes after just one more pack. The reality is that the only time we have is in this moment. If we don't take action when we think of doing something, chances are that we simply won't do it.
The key question we are asked on Rosh Hashanah is the same one posed by God in the Torah on several occasions to important characters: "Where are you?" I write a monthly column on the internet on kabbalah. The column my readers see has never come straight from my mind to the computer. It takes many drafts and much editing. As I read the first draft and find careless errors, I find myself asking, "Where were you?" because the mistakes are often so obvious to me once I go back over the material. Then there are the errors I miss even after I reread the article ten times. It's only when one of my devoted friends read it through that more mistakes are shown to me. This reaching out to trusted friends for their honest opinion is also part of teshuva. We humbly ask a trusted friend for his/her assessment of what he/she observes in us. [This is a very important point, as some people just love to trash people. You don't want to ask such a person.] There is a Rosh Hashanah tradition of asking a friend to tell us if we have harmed them in any way and if they can forgive us. Sometimes we ask this question knowingly because we already know about a miscommunication and at other times we honestly do not know that we unwittingly hurt our friend's feelings by some omission or action. If the friend is truly dedicated to the relationship, he or she will tell us in a non-blaming, non-judgmental way what we did and how our behavior affected his or her feelings. [The formula for this kind of interaction is: when you - insert the behavior-I felt-and name the feeling that you experienced. Often people will combine judgment with observation, as in, "it was very mean of you not to invite me to your party" rather than saying, "when you did not invite me to your party, I felt sad and hurt." See the difference? The first sentence begins with blame, right away identifying the friend as mean. The second way opens the door to further communication and offers the person an opportunity to reflect on his or her actions, understanding that his or her action had this effect on her friend.]This information can help us become more aware of how to change and improve.
Responsibility for caring for the earth is another important aspect of teshuva. Do we recycle as much as we can? Do we look for ways to reuse our old computers? Do we make sure when picnicking that we clean up after ourselves, leaving nothing behind that might injure wildlife or pollute the creek or lake? Do we demand that our representatives write laws to protect and clean our environment? Again, the words of Rabbi Hillel resound. We need to understand that the environment is an extension of ourselves; how we care for it will affect how it cares for everyone. Rosh Hashanah is a good time to review our personal habits that affect the environment as well as a time to contact our elected officials concerning environmental concerns.
Rosh Hashanah is a beautiful and rare opportunity to uncover the riches of relationships, as well as the richness of the deep well of potential that waits to be revealed, redeemed and nurtured in each of us. May this time be one of growth, love and healing for all! Amen!
I hope you will visit www.TheMetaArts.com to read more about the Hebrew letters and Kabbalah.
Many blessings~ Avigayil